If you are familiar with the story of Snow White you know that the evil queen obsessively asks her magic mirror, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?” When the mirror tells her it’s Snow White, jealousy and envy consume her to the point of seeking Snow White’s death.
The dictionary defines envy as “a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.” Envy is awakened when we start comparing ourselves to others, instead of striving for the best version of ourselves.
I once heard a very powerful statement that consisted of only two words: Comparison kills.
Comparison kills your self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, and even kills your friendships. It kills the pure love you could have for one another. Instead of focusing on the things you lack, choose to focus on the things you possess. Your life is full of abundant blessings that you’re too busy to notice because you’re looking in the wrong direction, the direction of others. I bet you have many beautiful qualities, so look within instead of out.
When you begin to notice jealousy and envy overtaking your heart, stop and evaluate where those feelings are coming from and why.
Are you jealous because you feel insecure about something? That’s okay, we all have insecurities we are working through. But blaming others to cover up those insecurities isn’t doing anyone any good, least of all yourself. Recognize that you’re human and you’re not perfect, but there is Someone who still wants you with all your imperfections. He will work with your insecurities and weaknesses. “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Are you jealous of something someone else has? If it’s a good characteristic like their patience, kindness or intelligence, maybe you can strive towards it in a positive way. If it’s a tangible thing like money, a big house, or long beautiful hair, then you can be happy for them and be thankful for what you have. Have confidence in how God made you and what He gave you. “But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.” (Isaiah 64:8)
Are you jealous of the perfect life everyone has on social media? Please don’t be blinded by the filters everyone is using to concoct a picture-perfect life that might be far from their reality. If you find jealousy creeping in the more you scroll down, it's time to stop scrolling. The content you consume inherently affects your emotions, so it might be wise to unfollow some people. If you look at those Instagram posts and don’t feel an ounce of jealousy, then good for you, but overall I suggest following accounts with edifying content.
There was a time in my life where I fell into the pit that is comparison which ultimately led to grudging jealousy. Every time I scrolled through social media I saw people who were better than me at everything. I believed the lie that my life was far less than those who I barely knew. It was a deceitful lie I willingly convinced myself of. So I had to snap out of it and change something to keep my sanity and any self-confidence I had left. I deleted Facebook for a period of time until I was in a better head space to go back to it.
The evil queen in Snow White was obsessed with being the best and making sure no one else was better. What if I told you that you could be the best while still cheering for your sisters to also be the best?
Society has been pitting women against one another for ages. It is your choice to add fuel to the fire of that awful reality or to change it. You can choose to lift each other up, complement each other, and always look out for each other. Sisters, we need to have each other’s backs! Root for the girls around you to succeed, and be a helping hand in their journey, not a stomping foot. There is an abundance of grace, blessings, and success to going around for each of you to enjoy beyond your wildest dreams! Let's not treat each other as though God's blessings are a scarce resource.
If you look deep down and realize this hideous sin has taken even a tiny place in your heart, you need to ask the Lord to uproot any thorns of wickedness in your heart. But be ready for a tough fiery trial because we know that gold is refined only by fire.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24)